Terluka.. yes it is…

why did I allow that feel come again?
why can I fight to close it..
untuk seketika..aku bahagia
tapi aku terlupa
kebahagian yang aku ciptakan tu
di atas kesedihan org lain
maaf kerana aku terlalu pentingkan diri
maaf kerana aku terlalu mengikut kata hati..
kau, someone who I can never have
aku sanggup pergi
andai itu aku perlu lakukan..
not andai ..tapi aku harus
aku sakit… pedih ..perit
aku kecewa ngan diri aku..
kenapa aku jadi begitu bodoh
bila berdepan ngan hati dan perasaan.
aku sayang kau..
tapi sayang ini terlalu perit untuk aku pertahankan
follow the flow..
but I think the flow is against us.
damn it hurt..

Tersurat dan Tersirat

ape maksud tersurat??

Menurut Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka, ‘tersurat’ bermaksud telah ditulis, tertulis, tercatat atau juga sudah ditakdirkan, telah ditakdirkan.

jadi,

tersurat yang ingin aku tekankan disini

tersurat

kau bukan milik aku..

tersurat

aku hanya persinggahan

manakala

tersirat pula bermaksud terkandung atau tersembunyi, tersimpan

di mana contoh ayat : Tiada sesiapa yang tahu akan apa apa yang tersirat dalam hati aku.

yap,

tiada siapa tahu apa yang tersirat dalam hati ini

bukan niat aku nak hadir dalam hidup kau

bukan juga niat aku untuk hadirkan kau dalam hidup aku

sungai itu kalau kita halang macam mana sekali pon laluan asalnya, ia akan tetap mengalir untuk mencari jalan yang lain dan akan terus mengalir tanpa henti.

tu sungai.. air dicincang tak akan putus.

tapi hubungan boleh terputus. walaupon tidak baik memutuskan suatu perhubungan. namun andai itu yang terbaik untuk semua. kenapa tidak kita lakukan.

maaf kerana aku terpaksa.. cukup disini.. 

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This is why she blocked you

It’s taken her longer than it should have but her heart finally had enough of the pain she was holding on to. Her heart finally told her it was time to stop clinging on to you because you weren’t coming back.

This is why she blocked you. She blocked because she didn’t want to be reminded of your flashy smile when she wasn’t in your life anymore. She blocked you because she didn’t want to be reminded of your smile and of your sunshine when all she felt was thunder.

She blocked you because she felt too much and too little all at once. She blocked you because she didn’t want to feel the sharp pain in her heart when she was reminded of your daily activities. She didn’t want to feel the pain of knowing you were in a better place without her.

She blocked you because she couldn’t bear to see your shining eyes. Your smiling cheeks. Your genuine heart. Your symphony. Your deep laugh. Your stunning soul.

 She needed to stand up instead of shatter. She had to become stronger. 

Stronger for herself, not for you.

She blocked you for herself.

She stopped holding on to you, punishing herself for your mistakes and actions. She finally stopped everything relating  to you. She finally decided to stop feeling guilty over the fact that she couldn’t change you and she couldn’t make you stay. She finally turned off her playlist of sad songs and realized it was time to let it all go.

She blocked you because she is stronger without you in her life. She blocked you because she didn’t need you anymore. She didn’t need your roots, because she decided to grow on her own.

She blocked you because realized your love wasn’t true. That your heart wasn’t in it for the right reasons. And she couldn’t stand to see you, to hear you and to talk to you. She blocked you because she finally realized that you were toxic. That you were never what she needed or wanted.

She blocked you because she had enough.

You were never going to be a different person. The kind of person that cared. The kind of person that was kind, that was genuine. She blocked you because you were never going to be who she truly needed in her life to lift her up.

She blocked you because she didn’t need you anymore. 

She had herself. And for once, that was enough. She was enough without you. 

Falling in love with you was not a choice. it just happened.

She stopped loving you today and finally let herself go.

#thoughtcatalog

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#cRuSH

#CRUSH

Aku suka kau

tak..tak..

Maksud aku suka tengok kau

Senyuman kau

Cara kau

Tenang je aku tengok kau..

Bila teringatkan kau,

Aku senyum seorang diri

aku bukan giler

tapi aku tergila-gilakan kau

Aku tahu...

aku hanya layak melihat kau dari jauh

tak mampu memiliki kau dari dekat

Mustahil dan tak akan

Aku cuma nak kau tahu

#CRUSH

Aku percaya kewujudan kau

Bukan untuk aku

Cuma identiti sesakan fantasi

Untuk menyeksa hati

Terima kasih kerana

Hidup di luar sana

Supaya dapat aku

Mencintaimu dalam diam..

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Hi! Long time no see

Lamanya tak update blog ni… bukan setakat sawang, sampah pun berlambak..

Lubang xyah cakap la..memang tak tertampal punya.. btw, almost a year x sentuh ape2 kat sini..xtau nk citer pe.. many stories up and down in my life. I do not have an exact word to explain.  

So start new year ni, even dah berminggu pon.. let's open a new book. New life story. InsyaAllah..

semoga aku istiqomah berupdate kat sini.. 

almaklumla, facebook pon tempat scroll down je. twitter lagi la..ermm... insta by mood... hahaha... 

sekian, terima kasih....

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